Monday, March 18, 2013

How To Destroy The Earth

People in general, look at environmentalists as treehuggers, often treat them with contempt, and brush off any statements made by them as trash. Since we do not listen to what environmentalists are saying, I have listed 5 ways we can do to help destroy planet Earth. Anyway, the steps are very easy to do. In fact, you might be doing one right now! Congratulations for making this planet a little uninhabitable.

1. Use you car even if the trip is only at the village gate. Your mommy wants you to buy suka at Mang Gustin whose store is only 50 meters away. Why walk there? Go out in style, drive your dad's hulking SUV. While you are at it, why not idle the car for 15 minutes to warm it up. You dont want the SUV to suffer premature engine breakdown, would you?

2. Buy Bottled Water or Beverage. Type 1 weather (read: summer) is just around the corner. It would be nice to cool down with ice cold (insert brand here) soda or water? Not only will it help you cool down, but help add up to the 8000 plus tons of trash hauled daily in Metro Manila alone. Isn't it cool?

3. Use products that dump toxic waste into the waterways. Lead-laden makeup, mercury-containing dry cell batteries, even your seemingly harmless facial wash that contains nanoparticles of polyethylene (that is right, it's plastic). These chemicals leach into the water supply and may end up inside our bodies. Look at the positive side. In a few generations, we could mutate into beings with superpowers. I like my powers to come from mercury, I could take the form of liquid metal and flow to wherever I want to be.

4. Go flat out on the use of electricity. Energy conservation? Who the hell wants to be uncool. Turn on that TV, watch programs that are of no use. Listen to crappy radio. Boil water in your stove, and put them in the freezer, ad infinitum. Be cool, destroy mother earth!

5. Do not be an environmental protection advocate. Do not join Earth Hour on March 23, 2013, at 8:30pm. Do not join the millions of uncool hippies trying to save the planet.

I hope you feel good about destroying the planet earth, you are all selfish who think about nothing but profit and convenience at the expense of our Planet Earth. I hope the ground opens up and swallow you and your big SUVs while you are holding that bottled water in your filthy hands.

posted from Bloggeroid

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